


Nicky the Kitchen Ninja

by Aer



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Baking, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aer/pseuds/Aer
Summary: Nile expected a lot of new things when she joined the other immortals, but kitchen ninjas leaving behind baked goods wasnoton the list. She’s not complaining though.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 26
Kudos: 250





	Nicky the Kitchen Ninja

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by my own habit of midnight cooking and that one tumblr post about how the nocturnal poster was often on opposite sleep schedules from their more diurnal partner, which occasionally resulted in large changes occurring in their house overnight.

Nile couldn’t see the coffee maker.

She blinked, brain still foggy as she tried to process what she was looking at. She distinctly remembered helping clean the kitchen last night, including cleaning off the counter and making sure the coffee maker was ready to go for the next day (always important when sharing a house with three other coffee dependent immortals), but now the coffee maker was gone. It had disappeared beneath a mountain of baked goods that had magically manifested.

“How did I sleep through this?” She wondered aloud. She heard footsteps stop short behind her.

“Good morning!” Joe greeted her, unreasonably awake in Nile’s tired estimation. She mumbled something in response, still transfixed by the sight in front of her.

Joe coughed gently. “Is there a reason you’re standing in the doorway?”

Nile blinked again, before stepping fully into the kitchen to allow Joe to pass. Upon seeing the sudden bounty, his face lit up. “Ah, the kitchen ninja was out and about last night!”

Nile turned to stare. “Kitchen ninja?” She could feel herself being slowly dragged into wakefulness without even the benefit of a cup of coffee.

Joe chuckled, easily shifting several plates of cookies to unearth the coffee machine, which some kind soul had already started. He poured her a cup without her asking, Nile taking it gratefully.

It took half the cup before Nile felt human enough to return to the mystery of the baked goods.

“No really, kitchen ninja?” She repeated, raising one eyebrow.

Joe grinned at her, biting into a flaky croissant. “You see, Nile, sometimes when an immortal is very good, they are visited by the kitchen ninja bearing many delicious gifts.”

Nile frowned. “Bullshit.” Joe chuckled again, pushing one of the many plates littering the table in her direction. It was covered with fluffy looking biscuits dotted with melted chocolate chips, as she discovered upon biting into one. “It’s still warm!”

Joe raised his eyebrows at her knowingly. “Kitchen. Ninja.”

Nile scowled at him, but ultimately the biscuit was too tasty to bother complaining about Joe’s obvious teasing. As far as hazing the new guy went, pretending they had been visited by a kitchen ninja was pretty harmless. She took another biscuit, finding this one filled with fresh blueberries.

Andy strolled into the kitchen. “Oh nice, the kitchen ninja’s back.” She grabbed a plate full of triangular pastries that were practically oozing cheese and eggs between their thin layers of dough. She took the mug of coffee Joe held out to her before disappearing again, taking the whole plate with her.

“Good morning, Nile.” Nile suppressed a jump. While all of the immortals could move silently as they pleased, Nicky was the only one who routinely bothered while they were in supposedly safe territory. He slipped past her, stealing a quick kiss and Joe’s coffee mug. Leaning against the counter, he took a long sip. “I’m glad you’re enjoying the food.”

Nile paused in chewing for a second, staring at him. He met her eyes calmly, the shadows beneath his eyes surprisingly deep given how peaceful he seemed. The pieces clicked.

“You! You’re the kitchen ninja!”

Nicky looked amused. Next to him Joe guffawed loudly.

“Why make up something about kitchen ninjas instead of just telling me Nicky went on a baking spree last night?” Nile demanded, trying to look serious. It was a doomed effort, she could already feel her lips twitching, but she persevered.

“But my Nicky _is_ the kitchen ninja!” Joe grinned brightly. “He’s so sneaky, no one knows there is baking happening until suddenly there is a masterpiece in front of them.”

Nicky rolled his eyes, looking fond. “Sometimes I find I hard to sleep at night. I’ve always been somewhat nocturnal. ” He explained. “If we have a kitchen where we are staying, I like to bake. It helps me relax. But I try to keep quiet so I don’t wake up anyone else. Just because I like to be awake at night doesn’t mean others feel the same.”

“The first time he did this, Andy thought we’d been robbed by a very incompetent but quiet burglar.” Joe said, bumping his hip into Nicky’s playfully. “None of us noticed anything until that morning when Andy woke us all up by yelling about mysteriously appearing pastries.”

Nicky leaned into the touch, smiling softly. “You were all halfway out the door before I managed to get a word in otherwise. Then you yelled at me for not explaining sooner, like I could have.”

Joe chuckled. “This is true. Then, none of us had experience with nighttime baking before Nicky’s surprise. Now, we just eagerly await the kitchen ninja’s next appearance and the delicious goods it brings.”

Nile had to agree with that. “I knew you were good at cooking, but shit Nicky, this is better than a bakery. Hell, if you told me you wanted to quit merc work to start a bakery, I’d be first in line.”

Nicky’s smile was warm. “I quite like our current occupation, but thank you, Nile. You will have to tell me your favorites so I can include them the next time I am struck by the urge.”

“ _Definitely_. Ooh, do you know how to make fresh bagels?!”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short fluffy drabble I dashed off last night! The pastry Andy is eating is [tiropita](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiropita)
> 
> I’m on tumblr as [Airilymusing](https://airilymusing.tumblr.com) if you want to chat with me there!


End file.
